Everyday I struggle between what I need to say and what I should keep to myself. I keep on hurting people's feelings. I really need a backspace key for my mouth, i really do. Sometimes, I find myself, regretting everything that I've said and just shut my mouth and never talk again.  I need a pause, and I don't know why. Maybe, its because of this desire of what others want me to be, and what others want me to be is nothing close to "me". 

I thought, that maybe, If I pretend to be cool and go on with life and just fit in, it would be better, but I guess I was wrong. Literally wrong. I've been keeping this for a long time. I don't know, the last time he left me alone, I was sad. Really sad, I promised myself not to fall again and never bother about my feelings. This year, everything has changed in the fact that, I've gone through a lot of pain, and a lot of "something new". And these, are all something that leads me to be a better person. Yes, I've lost one or two of my friends but that made me realize, that I just need to be better.

Somehow, I've stopped complaining, I've stopped demanding. I guess, I was trying to be good, but then I realized it wasn't trying. I was really really being it. PMR, was quite okay, I guess in the fact that I was freaking out for the first day of the exam. Life has been hectic, I know. Im in the process of healing. Healing from all the pain that I've suffered. 

I don't know why Im expressing everything here, never had the best reason, but I kinda like it. I told myself, what's the point of hating people when you know that you have your loved ones to be loved. So here I am, telling everything that I've gone through.